Horrible Girlfriend/Friend/idk everything?

At some point or another you're going to have to start working on the bad and now that you're realizing all this and you acknowledge it it's the perfect time to work on it. Start with baby steps and work on it with your friends first and family, if you start there by treating those closest to you better you'll evolve. You don't suck, we can all use our own time to fix flaws because nobody's perfect.